This is my wife's idea that I should write something on this blog that she created for us. I think my first blog should be short and simple. What do you all think? To begin with, let me first introduce myself for those who do not know me well. My name is Dennis Siow or just call me Dennis and not Denise. I had people call me that name in so many occasion, it even appeared in my birth certificate. However, it was changed to Dennis after 'someone' made that mistake. I was born in Klang, Malaysia, few suburbs outside Kuala Lumpur. I am the youngest in my family. I have an older brother who is older than me by 2 years. I had double blessings in the last 4 years. First,I am married to a beautiful girl whom I met during my studies in Hawaii. And second, I graduated from Brigham Young University of Hawaii in June 2009, majoring in International Business Management with Hospitality and Tourism Management minor.

As for my career, I am currently working for a Taiwanese based company, doing marketing stuff. Well, I have been there for a little over 4 months. It is quite challenging working environment because everyone have to speak Mandarin. They even have meetings in Mandarin. All I can say is that my Mandarin proficiency is like 10%. I have worked very hard to learn another language. I was kind of regretted that I dropped Mandarin class when I was like maybe 9 years old or less. And now, I have to suffer in order to get better. Do you agree with me? Maybe I guess.

Alright, as I have promise, this should be short and sweet. For those who are reading this blog, you can consider yourself lucky because I hardly write anything or do any blogs.

To be continued...

"...the people who believed began to be sorrowful..."

(3 Nephi 1:7-8, 12)
My scripture reading yesterday morning left me pondering upon this words in the Book of Mormon when the faithful Saints saw the unbelievers rejoicing because their faith was being tested. The lives of these faithful Saints are in grave danger if the sign of Christ's birth will not appear on the appointed hour.

I thought of the many occasions when I saw Saints whose faith are being tested by financial difficulties, depression, sickness, losing loved ones, and many others. They were sorrowful indeed "lest by any means those things (promises of great blessings) which had been spoken might not come to pass."

And then the next verse provided a clue of what the Saints are made of: "But behold, they did watch steadfastly... that they might know that theirr faith had not been vain." Their faith faltered at the sight of their enemy BUT they looked for their deliverance strongly and without stopping. What a great example of faith!

"Lift up your head and be of good cheer... and on the morrow come I into the world..." the Savior has spoken.

Dying Plants

I was in class and one of the student was describing a process of making a Chinese Tea and what are good/quality tea leaves out there in the market. As soon as I heard the word "leaves", my heart came out of my chest. My thoughts were, "Oh my goodness... I haven't watered my plants for 2 weeks!!!! Oh no! I'm so bad! How could I?"

It's been hot this past week here in Malaysia and the terror I felt for my plants was truly a "pure terror". I hurriedly drove back to our apartment and went straight to my plants. It broke my heart... there were a lot of dying leaves. They were just out there all this time begging me to notice them but my mind was somewhere else. I took the dead leaves and was talking lovingly to them, asking them to forgive me. I watered my plants and touched every surviving leaves. It is such a surprise to me that they survived all this while without water under a scorching sun.

While I attended to them, I thought of where my mind was all this time. Why did I forget? Well, this past 2 weeks I have been thinking and pondering about getting a dog (it's really because I am longing to hold a baby in my arms). I am thinking of what I don't have that I forgot to take care of the ones I have been given. And I wondered, am I forgetting Dennis too? I'm too focus on the things that I don't have that I don't take care and appreciate the great things that I have in my life. All I see is what is lacking.

My ingratitude truly was an eye opening experience. The general conference talked a lot about gratitude. I spoke to Dennis about this experience and I wept. I don't want to come home and find him withered away like my plants because I am there but not really present. I wept because I have forgotten my blessings... how truly bless I am for having such a wonderful husband who I can talk to at night in bed until sleep takes over.. and he's ever more present and aware of my needs. He constantly gives...

I am glad that I realized this before its everlastingly too late. I'm glad my plants waited patiently for me until I came back to my senses. It is such a shame. My Mama would be so disappointed in me - she loves all her plants - sings for them and water them daily the way she did to us (figuratively).

"Dennis... here I am. I'm here now..."

Cold and Broken Hallelujah

The first time I fell in love... it broke me. It was something I desired for goodness how long. I have spent many nights on my knees pleading for my Father in Heaven to let me feel that it's okay to jump "heart first" on this one. But everyday for a month of asking the same thing my heart raised to a certain degree that my faith was shaken. I felt danger... fear... excitement... and when you've never been kissed at 20, you just think "What the heck, just this one will not hurt!"

So I shut my eyes as I jumped "heart first"... I shut my mind to any reason... and I shut my ears to constant warning... and I fell... hard as humanly possible. I fell deep... and it was blissful at first.... for a while nothing else matters... for a while it was just him and me forever and ever. I was addicted to "all of him".

Then I opened my eyes - wide open this time and saw blood on the floor from the strong impact... my mind identified the excruciating pain and every fiber of my being felt it... and my ears heard what I have been hearing all along. And then I see my dreams breaking into pieces... I see a dark future... there's no "time and all eternity" in it... no Temple...no serving a full-time mission... no BYUHawaii... It was just me and a broken hallelujah. It was just me as an albatross to the man I first gave my heart.

And I knew I had to make it right... and I tried. Heaven knows how hard I tried. Daddy and Mama knows how hard I tried. My siblings know how hard I tried. I pulled myself right out of that mess I made. And it took me years to move on. And after seven years, I did. And I have.

The memory is still there... vague but present. I wish I had been wiser then... and spared myself and my first love "shattered confidence". To you my friend... forgive me for braking your heart that resulted in breaking my own.

Mooncake Festival!

I had to write something about my very first Mooncake Festival that Dennis and I celebrated with his colleagues at work, most of which are bachelors and bachelorettes. I felt really welcomed by them. They were so nice, warm and friendly. I had a blast. They gave me a lantern to hold and we walked to the park and back. We played games, ate and talked. It was clean fun! I'm glad that I spent it with them. They're all smart too.

I've asked around why we are celebrating this auspicious occasion but they don't seem to know the history behind it. An older colleague of Dennis have some "speculation" but none really KNOWS. So I thought I'd google it. But anyways, it doesn't really matter sometimes if we know what we are celebrating... but we always try to find ways to celebrate, to get-together with friends and just be around with each other and have fun.

Twin - Separation Anxiety

I thought that being married and separated from my family, especially from my twin sister for quite some time, I will be spared from ever experiencing separation anxiety. But having my sisters over for holiday, and spending a quality time with my twin sister was awesome and when she left, we are both experiencing separation anxiety. I lie on Two-Two's bed and smelling her pillow and hugging her blanket... and wearing the shirt she bought for me. And to make it worse, I am now catching a flu. She on the other hand, as soon as her plane landed was ill again and she started crying. Little did she know that when she was crying, I was too. I miss her so much ---- separation is stingy.

I've been having a hard time sleeping for a month but when my sisters where here, I would sleep at 10pm... or as soon as we get back from our "jalan-jalan" (pamamasyal)... I would sleep like a baby. And as soon as they left, my sleeping disorder is back.

I am forever grateful for my family... they are my bestfriends, my confidant. They are my shield against the storms of life. I look forward to the day when we all will be together again with our Mama - never to part.

Faith

One of my most treasured blessing is being a part of a worldwide sisterhood in the Church, Relief Society. I truly feel a great sense of belonging with women of the Church who exhibits great faith as they live each day of their life. Being so overwhelmed with my lack of faith recently, I found myself barely hanging on. Sister Dimples shared a lesson about faith in Jesus Christ today in our Relief Society class and she was truly inspired. It was a direct answer to my prayer.

She wrote on the board five direct result of lack of faith: doubt, discouragement, lack of determination, disbelief, & distraction. But all the things she wrote on the board was what I have been experiencing. She went on and talked about how we can increase our faith... and in my case, how can I regain it. What am I to do when it seems like all hopes are gone? Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a principle of salvation. It is the "hope for things which are not seen, which is true", it is trust in the Lords Jesus Christ that we obey His commandments. "It is a principle of action and power that motivates our day to day activities". To increase my faith in Jesus Christ, I should go back to the basics - read & study the scriptures, pray daily, go to Church every Sunday, and ask for Priesthood blessings, serve others, etc.

Sister Jessica said faith is to not give up. You just keep doing what you know is right and even if you can't see the result that you want, just carry on! I think that's what I needed to hear... JUST CARRY ON! "Bitter may be the bud, but the fruit will be sweet".

At this point in my life, I desire to increase my faith in Jesus Christ more than anything else. An inspired song about faith that I have loved for a very long time comes to mind, "Where Faith Lives" by Cherrie Call... [Faith] lives in the shadow of affliction just before the morning sun comes out... and it lives in the window where you throw away all your doubts.

To my Daddy

When I was little, me and my sisters would always dream of a nice wedding where we all could sing one of our favorite songs of Jose Mari Chan, "Sing Me Your Song Again Daddy". Well, I did but none of my family were able to witness it, especially my Dad. So this year, I recorded a video and I was holding back the tears because I really miss my Dad and wished he was there to see me start my life with a wonderful man whom I fell in love with. Dad can be a pain most of the time but he loves our family. He sometimes have strange ways of showing it but there's no question that he loves us with all of his heart. To my Dad who I owe my life... I miss your voice, I miss you singing to us, I miss you telling us stories of "Bantay", "Kapre", and many others. You are one amazing father. I love you.

That's What Twins Are For

To the one who I shared my mother's womb at the same time.

I am forever grateful that you're my twin. Thank you for looking after me --- in good times and bad. I have so much reason to be well again. I have great families, friends, colleagues at work. I promise I will get better. I'm already on my way to get better because I feel loved. My life is truly blessed by our Father in Heaven.

I just watched a video that was shared by a friend of mine, Joseph Moore, about people who have suffered rejection and discouragement in life but pushed their way out of it with so much faith and determination that those people who told them they can't was truly proven wrong. Towards the end of the video is a quote: "If you've never failed in life, you've never lived" (Life = risk). Its very inspiring.

I know I have so much expectation on myself and to others and I should listen to you more often and lower that expectation just like you and my branch president said. Don't worry now ok? I will be get better.

Two Words

I recorded this video day after my birthday, June 18, 2010 - to thank Dennis for choosing me and for making me realize that life is a lot more meaningful when we are looking at the same "destination" - eternity. We are far from it but I know that as we each draw closer to our Savior Jesus Christ, we're a step closer to that blissful place of eternity.

Very Filipino!

I saw this youtube video that my good friend (one of the best), Emerson, shared and Dennis was in awe... I told him that this is a very "normal" reaction from a Pinoy cool "badings" and that they are extremely fun to be around with. I have a lot of gay friends back home and they watch your back like a lioness to its cub. And because they are Pinoys, and we are known to be extremely passionate, we are capable of loving so much and hating so much, etc. And I told him that Pinoys are big on Ms. Universe Pageant (even Barangay pageant as long as its pageant of some sort)...AND most of all... BOXING! Beauty & Beast!!! One great contrast to describe Filipino at its best. We can be very very nice and cuddly... but we can throw punches here and there that would knock anyone down who gets in our way. hehe!

Supporting my Insanity?

I am going through a difficult stage in my life where I feel that everything is closing down on me, the world is turning its back on me, the skies are grey, the rainbow is black and white, and I'm a bad person, etc. Anyhows, I've been fighting this feeling for several weeks now because clearly I have no reason to think that the world is coming to an end. Yes, I have setbacks and they are serious in nature but the pros outweighs the cons.

And yet, I find myself having uncontrollable feeling of sadness, helplessness, hopelessness like I've never felt before. So many sleepless nights, so many thoughts of s-----e, waking up in the middle of the night just crying and refusing to be comforted (it's like I'm taking refuge in my very dark world). I remember Dr. Goodwill and Dr. Day always talking about Norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin, etc. neurotrasmitters that aid in feelings of well-being... I guess I'm running short of those. Time to see a medical professional.

In the midst of these episodes of my "lowest of low", Dennis has been very supportive and loving. He's the one who suffers the most because I live with him (poor thing). Last night I was extremely sad and crying while eating (just terrible)and then an hour later I was happy and dancing like a fool - Dennis danced along and it made me laugh so hard. I hugged him and thank him for supporting my insanity and whispered to him that I will do all I can to be better (e.g. get rid of this depression with the help of able medical professionals). He then counselled me to not lose faith in my Father in Heaven that I will find the comfort and peace that I need.

In times like this, I miss my family in the Philippines the most. Whenever I make major mistakes, it never really let them down... they still believed in me and they are a great support system. I guess blood relations does that. My newfound family, Dad James and Mom Annie are all the more sensitive of my needs too. Mom Annie is aware that my pimple breakouts since I moved here to Malaysia is really affecting me and she's always on the lookout for facial treatment promotions and beauty products that are potential answer to my wicked acne problems. Dad James on the other hand, has been a great emotional support for me. He may not know the details of what I'm going through, but he's very sensitive of my feelings. Just last night, Dennis came home with a newspaper in hand that Dad James wanted me to read. It's about being resilient and it shares about the story of Helen Keller. I'm grateful for my in-laws.

Sunday. We were visited by the Lim Family - with the four kids. It was special. I felt special. I felt understood... I still don't have answers as to what I'm going to do with myself... I am in a downward spiral but after their visit... I see a glimpse of hope that I can come out of it strong. My hope is that it will happen soon... I don't want to be a burden anymore to Dennis who is forever convinced that he deserves me when clearly, he deserves so much better. He keeps reminding me that our marriage is eternal so giving up is not an option... only moving forward.

Babies Getting Dumped

Ok, so for this past few months "Star" newspaper (Malaysia) has been writing about babies that have been left by their parents at strangers doorstep or at the hospitals after being delivered... and today's frontpage is even more shocking - police had to rummage through a dumpsite to find a foetus.

In that same news article a baby boy was left with his umbilical cord still attached to him right outside a policeman's house. He was then rushed to the hospital for treatment. The baby boy is so handsome and is smiling in the picture. I don't know what the circumstances the mother might have found herself in that lead her to a decision of abandoning her baby but I have a very strong feeling that it will break her heart to see that picture of a perfect angel that she just gave away.

I was born in Butuan City, Agusan del Norte (Mindanao)and we lived right by the Agusan River, third largest basin in the Philippines. I remember when I was about 5 years old, there was a big commotion in our neighborhood and being the nosy girl that I was, I went and checked what was going on. The closer I get to where a lot of the people are gathered, the noxious stench became unbearable but it didn't stop me from finding out. I saw men who are trying to lift a sack with dead babies and they found about 2 of them. I didn't understand it then why this has to happen to innocent babies who had done no wrong (they were never given a chance to make that choice). I didn't understand it then... and I still don't... and perhaps never will. But what I do understand is the feeling I get whenever I see or hear of these things - longing to have been given a chance to care for them. My parents always keep our doors open to runaway maids, to strangers who need a place to stay... and our family is big because we know so many of them who became a part of our family. They are very caring people.

We take anything in... even stray dogs. At one time, we had four dogs. Two who we chose (Lad and Risky), one (Beauty) who choose my family over her owner (they moved to a new place in a new town but Beauty found her way back into our house and to this day we still haven't figured out how she managed to find her way), and one (Chance) who was left right outside our doorstep but was taken back after few weeks and it broke our heart.

(Sigh) I wish I have forever to tell you stories about this 4 beautiful dogs.. I'll save it for some other time. As I was writing... about the babies getting dumped... I know they are safe in the arms of the One who gave them life... the One who gave us ours.

Weakness - a Crime?

"Ode to the Mote in Mine Eyes"

You,
yes you,
who magnified my weakness,
look around you.

You,
yes you,
who think my weakness is a crime,
open your eyes...
Because the world has real criminals,
and not all of them, although convicted,
are guilty of their crimes.

Note: I think I know this all along, but it never quite registered until now.. a realization that I am the greatest enemy of myself. That I am the worst judge of myself. Simon Cowell's "medieval stoning" through his foul mouth that everyone are just so into these days, I can't believe I even consider this, is as sweet as honey compared to the voices in my head.

I've seen this a long time ago but a friend of mine, Li Mei, shared the link on facebook. And I watched it over & over again and thought to myself, this is one of the things I want to watch when I do feel beaten up... "The celebration of Life over Limitation"

What happens if your Father-in-Law reads your blog?

Ok, so the whole idea of writing a blog is because I haven't been consistent with my journal writing. Blogger.com inspires me to make a record of my life in the hope that one day my children and children's children can relate to me and they won't have to feel alone. And it is also my hope that the very few who will read it will also feel the same way. The worldwide web allowed me to reach out not only to my soul but also to my past, present, and future.

Anyways, Dad James picked me up from work yesterday and he told me that he read my blog especially the one I wrote about "Of Being a Mother". He said that the forwarded e-mail about being a mother and what not wasn't meant for me but for my eldest sister, Ate Lala. And that he wasn't aware that he sent me that e-mail. He comforted me by saying that I shouldn't feel pressured and I should be more relaxed. I was totally relieved when I heard him say that. And Dad, if you are reading this I want you to know that I am grateful for all that you are to me. You're the best father-in-law every daughter-in-law could wish for. Thank you so much for making me feel loved. I have two wonderful fathers now!

First Successfully Uploaded Video

12/8/2010 - learning how to play ukulele. First time to record and successfully upload a video of myself attempting to sound descent and give justice to songs I like. So far, I've learned 3 songs I can play with ukulele. I will practice a little bit more and upload some more. And I hope I will get better in time. It's fun doing this though.

I'm learning Ukulele and although I'm bad at it, I'm actually enjoying it. I do miss playing guitar though. I'm thinking of buying one next month or after. Can't wait to play my oldies but goodies songs!

Learning Ukulele is harder than I thought

Dad James 57th Birthday

It's Dad James 57th Birthday today. We bought a small cake for him, Mango Yogurt Mousse Cake (since he loves mango). It was just the four of us (Mum, Dad, Dennis, and myself) as usual and we sang Happy Birthday song for him and he made a wish and said it out loud too which I thought was funny. But anyways, his wish is to celebrate his 60th birthday. Yup, Dad is "one-day-at-a-time" man and appreciates every year that is added to his life.

After eating our slice of cake we had durian feast! He bought so much durian and it was absolutely delicious! It was my first time to eat more than one seed. Then we chatted and somehow our talk ended up with my remarks on why Dad needs to install an alarm system at his home because the price was just exorbitant. Dad and Mum told us that there were already three break-ins for this past month in the same housing area that they are now living in. They then told us of their "break-in" experience long time ago. There were 3-4 thieves who broke in to their house and Mum's uncle was downstairs and tried to call them. Dad and Mum thought that he was yelling "Snake!" Apparently, one of the thief was covering his mouth. When they were going down they saw the thief with a knife and so they ran back to their bedroom and lock the door. They started screaming for help. Their knees were shaking the whole time. Dennis was two years old then and was sleeping soundly in his room. That was really scary.

I think the world has become more and more polluted with evil men who wants to make "fast money", of course at the expense of honest and hardworking people. It has become a "Necessity" a "need" to arm your homes with CCTV, alarm and security system... so you can sleep peacefully. It's just sad. You can't even send your children out to play at the park without adult supervision. We don't need alien invasion to wipeout human race because we are pretty much equipped to destroy each other, in all the sense of the word (sad truth).

Moving on...we watched the news and Dad told me of the news about Philippines that someone from PAGCOR suggested to Noynoy (Philippine President) to consider the privatization of Casino in the Philippines and selling it to Malaysian business tycoons (the owner of Maxis, YTL, and I forgot who the other one is). I'm not sure how true this is but whatever. I don't really care much about gambling institutions because I know there are more productive ways of investing your money and gambling, although popular, is not really a "high-road" to take. That's just my take on it.


In a good note, on our way to buy Dad's cake at Jusco Bukit Tinggi, the sky was just so emaculate and I had to take a picture. The grey clouds was like silk and the sun looks like an eye. Its so beautiful. Oh the majesties of God's creation is truly a testimony that he exist. No matter where we are in the world, we all share the same sun and the same sky. I am in awe!

Of Being a Mother (from my Father-in-Law)

I have known my in-laws for a little over a year now and I have grown to appreciate and love them. They are quiet protective and supportive of all our endeavors. They made sure that I will feel welcome and comfortable in my new home - Malaysia. And I am. Dad James, my father-in-law, is a quite fascinating character. He's very sensitive, thoughtful, wise, sociable, etc. We can talk just about anything, from social problems to home improvement, from Frank Sinatra's "My Way" to Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy", etc.

This past year that I have grown so close to them, not once did they ever ask me if I'm pregnant or when do we plan to have a baby. It helped me in many ways because I have been quite depress about not getting pregnant and there are days when it really gets inside my head and stay there like a malignant tumor. Anyways, going back to my father-in-law. Last night we had dinner together as a family (Dad James, Mum Annie, Nick, Dennis and myself) to celebrate his 57th birthday. We ate at Eighty Eight BBQ Steamboat Restaurant. We had so much fun because it was our first time to eat there and its eat all you can for reasonable price and you cook and grill your own food. You take your own ingredients and they have seafood station, meat, vegetables, dumplings, etc. There's ice cream too and it's bottomless! I had 3 bowls in 6 different flavors!We laughed at each other, even Nick (who is extremely reserved) was laughing too. It was my first time to see and hear him laugh.

Anyway, before I get sidetracked with the food stuff, going back to my father-in-law, this morning I received a forwarded e-mail from him. He loves to forward e-mails. Anyways, the title of the e-mail is "Being a Mother." And I thought, "Oh great! Now, I have to really work it." The message of course is just what the title implies. I guess because Dad James is not getting any younger that he probably is giving me a "wink, wink" of when is he going to be a grandfather. But then again, it might be one of his regular forwarded e-mails and he is probably not suggesting anything. But as for me, whose arms have been longing to cradle a tiny creature with small hands and feet; whose heart is longing to nurture a small creature that is a mixture of mine and Dennis' chromosomes....... (sigh)...... it's going to be a big challenge to not feel the "pressure" when I'm already putting so much on myself without anybody's help.

Anyways, anyone care for chocolates and ice cream? I could really use some just about now!

"Hereiam"

(no copyright intended)
Woke up this morning - like all other mornings that Dennis and I have to prepare to go to work. I was blow drying my hair and then "Here I Am" phrase just came to my mind. And I thought to myself, "Hey, that's a good name for a baby." If there is "Will I Am" for William, I thought it would be a good idea to name one of my children "Hereiam" for Here I am. Then I smiled... quite happy with the idea. And perhaps the second one will be "Sendme" for Send Me. Then I was humming the song... "there's a light inside that's leading me on... and a voice that's calling my name... and for all I believe I will go where it leads ... put my life in Heaven's Hand... this is His plan... Here I am, send me.." (dunno if the words are exact but it is somewhat like that). I wonder what Dennis' thoughts are with those names.

I asked Dennis couple of days ago about "Hereiam" and "Sendme" as potential names for our babies... and he looked at me... with his dreamy eyes and said (with a smirk), "Dunno" (in a very Malaysian accent). His "dunno" always mean, "Hon, can you think of something better?!" I'll keep trying, until he says, "Eureka!"

2nd Year Wedding Anniversary

To all our families and friends who have been an instrument, one way or another, in bringing Dennis and me together - we celebrate this day, August 2, 2010, our 2nd year wedding anniversary and pray that we will fill in the rest of eternity with love for each other.

Dennis and I are both really busy with work and with our callings in Church. We try to have as much quality time together as we can. We have been greatly blessed by God with good life, good health, wonderful friends, supportive families, and most importantly each other. We are hoping, praying, and anticipating for addition to our family... to our unborn children (five to be exact or however many that God will blessed us with), we are excited to welcome you --- we will wait for you all.

To remember this auspicious occasion, we had dinner at Victoria Station in PJ - the restaurant is set up like a train and the waiters are in cowboy costume. They have great customer service. The ambiance is perfect! The music is delightful - country music... just the way I like it. They also played Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind" one of my personal favorite. And their smoked salmon appetizer was really tasty. The salmon tasted sweet, smoky, and fresh. With a pinch of salt and white pepper and lemon juice, I was transported to a place so heavenly. And oh, their beef steak (medium) was sweet and juicy. I have to be bold as to say it is 10 times better than the steak at Hy's Steakhouse Waikiki. Perhaps even more! We had dark grapes sparkling juice and banana split for dessert. And the best part is, Dennis and me talked about the many reasons why we fell in love with each other and how we can improve more in our relationship.

Cheers to many more years of marital bliss!

After the Storm... a Still Small Voice

I have to write something about a very humbling experience yesterday so as not to repeat the same offense and learn from it... and move on with a more determined resolution to become a better person.

The experience of listening to others thoughts and feelings about my gazilion weaknesses (magnified a hundred-fold) and how my bad behavior was a "let-down" was a truly painful and humbling experience. The last time I cried so hard was when my Mom passed away. Yesterday was "like unto it" - not so much but very close. And oh the wonders of sunglasses that could hide my exposed feelings after such a scenario.

To listen to people tell you what you could have done differently and reiterate your weaknesses is like walking into an open fire. All bullets are directed at you. And it hurts so bad. While receiving everything that is thrown at me, I thought of a scripture passage in Nephi where it says "the guilty taketh the truth to be hard for it cutteth them to the very center." Truth hurts but it will set us free. And it did! Having asked for forgiveness for the things I've done that hurt others, I am now in the process of forgiving myself and I actually slept better last night. Bitter may be the bud but the fruit will be sweet... (i forgot the exact quote but its something like that).

It may take a while to regain a good friendship, but time will be a good healer. I can now move on... with a more determined resolution to not judge others, to be more sensitive to others feelings, to be more in control and not explode, to be more open, to be honest, to be organised, to be more enduring, to hold on... and many others... and as one friend said (who took a bullet or two for me), "stay strong and never ever give up..." After the storm.... a still small voice....that I am not alone and that I am a child of God.

Once a Bully Always a Bully?

(this photo was taken from google. no copyright infringement intended. I just wanted to use it to state a point.)

When it comes to digital communication - social networking places on top. Social networking, like facebook, bridges people from the world over - my favorite feature because I've made really good friends while in BYUHawaii. Roommates from Switzerland, Maui, Tonga, Cambodia, Idaho, Hongkong, etc. Another great feature of social networking is it bridges us to our past. For instance, I have found most of my primary and secondary school classmates on facebook. And I am evermore in awe of the power of worldwide web. I've had great experience of reminiscin' the past with them as we exchange emails. It's also interesting that we can catch up with all those years that we haven't seen them in one seating as we check their profile, their photos, their notes, blogs, status, etc. It always bring pleasure to my soul to know of their successes and their struggles.

With all these wonderful perks we could get from social networks, there's one that I abhor the most - bullies! Using facebook to hurt someone - verbally and dismiss it as a joke. Classmates from primary and secondary school who are bully; who really loves to belittle people and who are downright smug. I had great hopes for them... that their years of experience had made them wise. Apparently not. Social networking has provided them more avenues to display their prowess on hurting people with their sharp and malicious tongue or pen (figuratively speaking).

As for me, I have resigned myself in hoping for the best in people. Once a bully always a bully? Yes... well... not forever;) (hope floats!)

Remembering Mama....

... this past couple of weeks, I have been pondering about death... and how I would embrace the idea of dying just to know how it is really beyond the veil. Since my Mom passed away... death seems like a welcome thought. About an hour ago, we heard the news about Bro Kee. He just passed away. I just saw him this Sunday and he handed me my tithing slip like always. We always sit behind him and his wife every Sunday... the sting of temporary separation is painful. And it's like relieving the loss of my Mom's passing over and over again. I guess this pain of separation doesn't end until we are reunited with those we love who have gone before us. Our task now is to live our life in a way that we can claim them as our forever family. And as my Mama would say everytime we stepped out of our house, " 'nak, CTR!" And Ma... I will so I could be yours and you will be mine forever and always.... love and miss you everyday of my life.

Dennis' 27th Birthday.

July 8, 2010 - We both had to work and on top of that there's Fifa World Cup that is more important to Dennis than his birthday. ;) I first had an "evil plan" for a birthday gift for my husband that would TOTALLY BENEFIT ME, MYSELF AND I. I have been eyeing on that Ukulele I found in Yamaha Store Bukit Tinggi Jusco. And I figured that since I wanted it really bad and its a bit pricey... I might as well kill 2 birds in one stone. Buy the ukulele, wrap it and put a red bow with a card that says "To my Dearest D... Happy Birthday. I love you!" I was seriously contemplating on it (for 2 weeks). I felt guilty but chuckling at the same time.. I thought it would be a good joke and its to my advantage in the end. I can only imagine Dennis so excited to receive the gift and be completely dumbfounded, if not, be very DISAPPOINTED to find an ukulele since he doesn't have any trace of musical inclination in him. He would probably say, "Is this for you, hun?" (I do have great hopes that in our life hereafter, we can sing duet in perfect harmony. And who knows, he might be able to play the ukulele there too ;)

Anyways, I repented. How could I be so selfish on my husband's birthday? That's so wrong! So I abandoned the plan. What happened next is a "Fastfood Birthday Celebration." July 7, 2010 (at night) - we ordered Pizza Hut and Honey Covered Chicken BBQ... since he is going to wake up at 2:30am (July 8, 2010) to watch socceer - Germany vs. Spain, he will have something to eat. And since I have class the following day, I had to sleep early. So, I sang "Happy Birthday" and ate the first 2 slices... and off to bed. July 8, 2010 At night... after work, we hang out and watched TV and dialled 1-300-13-1300 (McDonalds' Hotline). hehehe! Contrary to our goal not to have fastfood for this month, we made Dennis' birthday an excemption to the rule. So we made the most out of it and stuffed ourselves with fastfood. We watched the Season Finale of Glee - "Journey Episode" and we had fun :)

Oh, and I did buy him a gift. And its' definitely something that has nothing to do with ME, MYSELF, AND I. After being married for almost 2 years I still struggle with the concept of "IT'S NOT JUST ME NOW - IT'S US" - I have to say that it's so much better than "me being the center of the universe." Room to grow....

Happy 23rd Monthsary ;)

Yup, we are on our 23rd month mark and eternity to look forward to. Almost always, when its 2nd day of the month (when we plan something special to remember why - Dennis and myself - fell for each other), something bad happens that really puts our love for each other to the test. And my pride always make it worst. My feeling the "need-to-be-right" all the time overshadows reason. I am quite fortunate though to have Dennis who would shake me out from my selfish/prideful state to being selfless/humble. I'm not quite sure why I deserve him... I don't think I do. God knows that I need him to polish a lot of my 'rough edges'. Dennis always bear my imperfections with patience. We settled our "issue" the very same day.

Anyways, day after we settled our issue, I forgot that its' our 23rd month mark so I didn't really plan/prepare anything. Dennis, on the other hand, came home yesterday from work around 7:30pm - BEAMING! I can tell the excitement all over his face. I was puzzled. He then greeted me, "Happy Anniversary, Hon. I have something for you." Of course, being the Filipina that I am, flowers and chocolates are conventional 'offering' for this auspicious occasion - so I got excited of course. He pulled out the anniversary gift... and I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED IT EVEN IF I WAS GIVEN A MILLION CHANCES. A bulb keychain! I laughed so hard that I offended my poor husband. I have to gather myself fast and redeem myself by thanking him for his thoughtfulness and apologize for my rudeness.

I was trying very hard not to laugh when he was adding the special feature of the keychain. You can push the button and it lights up! WOW, right?! So I said, "Wow" as sincerely as I wanted it to sound. He didn't buy it. He looked at me with those cute puppy eyes and said, "You don't like it. You're laughing at my gift" (Dennis - frowning). This time, I felt bad for making him feel bad. So I made up something to make the gift more meaningful by adding, "Oh, I think I know why you bought this for us, it means - I light up your life ;)" And Dennis is happy again. Just like that... and we played with our key chain (yup, he bought two) for 5 minutes and then ate our dinner.

Ok. With that said... I thought key chains are only "pasalubong". Its' what you buy for friends when you go to places. hehehe! But today, I learned from my husband the true meaning of "it's the thought that counts". Dennis' simple-mindedness subdues my complexities. He's the perfect ingredient for me;)Guys out there... key chain might work for your other half...(warning) but not always ;)

Portugal vs North Korea - A Defeating 7-0

The game just finished couple minutes ago and I was just dying to hear the whistle from the referee to put the North Korea team out of their misery. I mean it was really good... I mean record-breaking performance in Portugal side but you can't help but symphathise on North Korea team. It was like seeing someone get punch over and over again... and I'm a helpless onlooker... I can't even call 911! Although I tried so hard to cheer on the North Korea team hoping that'll help with their score and then they could tie up with Portugal and when they do.. I can go back and cheer on Portugal. But my effort was in vain. And my heart got broken even more when the camera spotted a bunch of North Korea fans who travelled so far just to see their team play... it was depressing. But oh well, North Korea stood on their ground to the very end... and I am trully respectful of that. I once watch a bike race (National Geographic - I think) involving a father and a son and the father was falling way behind because he was just spent. He urged his son to move ahead because he doesn't want to hold him back. When the son reached the finish line, he waited anxiously for his father... for HOURS. When his father finally appeared, looking so frail and you can see in his face that every step he took was just so painful... they both wept as they were reunited. The father then said to the cameraman (and I felt that his message was for me), "The secret of success is to figure out not to quit."

Well, North Korea... did figure out not to quit... and in many ways that to me spells success. I don't think I will be a good sports writer... as I don't have a competitive spirit. I always cheer for the underdog... EXCEPT for boxing!!!! If there is exciting fight coming along, I will definitely write a blog about it... but you won't see or feel a hint of sympathy to any opponent that fights against my bet;) But for now... we'll stick with FIFA World Cup 2010 since Dennis is going crazy about it. Seriously! The world stops when a game is on! And he would watch the highlights over and over again! It’s driving me crazy!!! Like pulling my hair in ALL DIRECTIONS!!! Nonetheless, Cheers to World Cup!

Oh, and one of the greatest highlight is when Ronaldo Cristiano finally scored. He was dying to make a goal and has been doing a great service to his team. And the ever elusive goal for him came as Portugal's 6th goal with 3 minutes left on the clock. With two minutes left on the clock, and then Portugal stole the ball again from North Korea team, I was saying to Dennis, "Come on, you've got to be kidding me if they will score another..." I didn't even finish my sentence and there goes Tiago, charging like a bull with no mercy - 7th goal! His second goal! And it's like adding insult to an injury for North Korea. Ok, there! Enough said...

To Dennis.. who made my birthday a less depressing experience

Yesterday, I took some pictures of our quite dinner of my favorite food - Japanese food! I was home all day because Dennis had to go to work. I was feeling down as my birthday draws near... feeling like I haven't accomplished much. I am Thirty! Like seriously 3-0... and I was not at all happy about it. I tried to start my day as ordinary as possible... I painted our home (which took half of my day already), answered all my wall messages - birthday greetings (thanks to facebook, my friends can now remember my birthday, and I'm happy about that, I mean even George (Lim) who has been busy with Lakers and Celtics game dropped a note. That's really nice. I just opened my computer and its a day after my birthday already and I have tons more to reply. Anyways, after painting, I baked for the first time cinnamon rolls. The last I tried to make bread, it was terrible - stone hard terrible! It was 2 years ago I think, and I figured its my birthday and I always want to do something new... something like overcoming fears/challenge and what not. Well, I wanted to overcome my fear of failing to make a bread ... and the cinnamon rolls was fine. I mean it wasn't perfect but it was edible. I even had the courage to give my in-laws a tray of cinnamon rolls! I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast and lunch. As I was saying, we had our dinner close to where we live at 9pm. I took some pictures of our dinner at Sakae Sushi - a Japanese Restaurant at Jusco Bukit Tinggi. The ambiance was nice and the grilled squid stuffed with rice is so good... but that's about it.I have to say that Sushi King at Tesco Bukit Tinggi is far more superior, affordable, and delicious. Although the ambiance is not that nice ... i mean the view is the parking area but the food is really delicious. Anyways, it was still a good dinner... we stuffed ourselves with sushi!
I woke up quite late this morning, went swimming and then had brunch... and then answered more facebook greetings. I also had to finalize my students grades before Monday. Anyhows, I still haven't started memorizing their names and their faces. It's a bit challenging to memorize Chinese names and let alone say it properly! My students would always laugh at my pronunciation of their names... and they don't mean to be rude. It's just the culture. But anyhows, I'm so excited for school to start because I have been preparing student-centered lesson plan for them that I hope will work for them. So excited!
Overall, my birthday was well spent and thanks to my dearest D, he made it less depressing by just being with me and listen to my endless woes of 'aging crisis' and being 'childless'. So there... I spilled my innermost striving. By the way, no amount of comforting words can really appease my soul... so please don't leave a comment that says, "Oh Joanah, you're still young... some married couple takes about 5 to 10 years to get pregnant". I shall thank you forever if you will leave a comment about the squid we ate or about my stunning husband who never cease to amaze me.

Malaysian Probationary Driving License

Knowledge Value Project

13 June 2010

Yup, I’m official! I can now drive legally in Malaysia. The whole process was painstaking and frustrating but I managed. The whole process has brought the best and worst in me. I constantly found myself in situations where I had to bring out the “tigress” in me to not be cheated or take advantage of. My driving school realised that Filipinas are not to be messed around with! (roar!)

My Knowledge Value Project is to secure a Malaysia Driver’s License by going through “Undang-Undang” (country’s rules and regulations) and go through 10 sessions of manual driving class. I chose this skill because I want to be able to drive myself to and from Church and not have to rely on Dennis a lot. I really feel sorry for him especially on Saturdays when he has to drive me to PJ Chapel for an activity when he just came back from work. I also want to be able to drive my children to and from school in the future. I know that securing my own driver's license will give me more opportunities to serve in whatever calling the Lord will give me, including motherhood.

My plans to carry out my project were: a) seek the help of Ms. Yong, Priya, Brandon or Luisa to find out a good and cheap driving school (its ridiculous how much driving school charges are); b) study the “Driver’s Education Curriculum Handbook”; c) fulfil all the necessary government requirements; and d) pass both theory and practical exam.

My personal progress journal has more details of the entire experience. I shall write excerpts of it. First, I am grateful for friends who have filled me in with helpful information that got me started on the right track. Plus my in-laws, who are very supportive of me wanting to be more independent – in many respects. They would accompany me anywhere to make sure that I am not cheated on because I don’t speak Bahasa Malay nor Chinese. They are a tremendous help.

Fulfilling the government requirements was a little challenging. I spent about 10 hours sitting in a class room listening to the lecturer about the rules and regulations, as well as about car parts etcetera in Bahasa Malay language. They do not have it on any other language. But I have to sit on it because it is a requirement. I managed to look interested those whole 10 hours (5 hours on each day). What I did though was read the English handbook they gave me during the class and kind of figured out the rest – thanks to google!

My practical test was set on June 2, 2010 and it was traumatic! Throngs of people are waiting early in the morning for their turn and the JPJ are not at all ‘friendly’ to anyone who’s wearing a number. But anyhow, it doesn’t matter really. I had one goal in mind – to PASS, and I am not about to be defeated by the attitude of people around me neither by my pride. So I suck it all up and tough it out! The practical test took about 3 hours – there were a lot of people that day at Shah Alam. I managed to befriend a Malay girl, mother of two, who’s back for her second chance. She told me of her ordeal the week before and how she was treated quite badly. But she said she needed it to send her kids to school. We had long hours to wait so we got to know each other more. I also befriended 3 Chinese who were taking the test for the first time. All of them failed the test. I didn’t know what happened to the Malay woman that I befriended but I have a strong feeling she passed this time.

My driving school, knowing that I don’t speak the language cheated on me once and didn’t even complete the 10 sessions as promised (I only have 4 sessions from them). And they forgot to teach me the 2 routes that I needed to memorise for the practical test. It was challenging to deal with them because of the language barrier. Suffice me to say that I feel a great sense of relief when I finally have my driving license in my hand. It was worth it! My fear was overpowered by a more exalted purpose of why I am doing it. This value experience taught me humility and patience.

I am grateful for the experience. I still love Malaysia and I still love the people. This experience helped me to understand the people better and appreciate their diversity. I also love driving here. If you are someone like me who lives in Manila half their life, Malaysia’s road is paradise! Mission accomplished.

Date of Completion: 9 June 2010
Hours spent: about 25 hours

Handicapped and Disabled Children’s Association of Klang Selangor

(Note: I have been doing my YW Personal Progress Report for a while now but thought of sharing it on my blog in the hope that it will give other young women ideas on how to accomplish their own.)

13 June 2010

Good Works Value Project - Young Women Personal Progress

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." Helen Keller



Sometime in February of this year while working for my father-in-law’s office, an Indian fellow (Mr. Muru) accompanied by a young man with a Down Syndrome walked in looking for Dad James. Mr. Muru went inside Dad’s office but the young man stopped at my desk and extended his hand. After our warm handshake he asked me politely if he could have some water. I took a glass of water and hand it to him and he finished it in seconds! He was really thirsty. Then I offered him some of my cookies, he took some and graciously thanked me. I was very impressed and quite touched by this young man, whose manners are not what I categorized as mentally disabled. His manner speaks highly of the god in him.

That experience led to many inquiries and Dad James filled me up with a lot of details because he has been a donor for quite a while to a special home that takes care of this special children. The Handicapped and Disabled Children’s Association of Klang Selangor (Persatuan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak Cacat Klang Selangor) houses mentally and physically disabled children and young adults ages 3 to 26. It’s a special home where they are given training, education, and proper grooming so they can be independent and contribute to their society. And the young man that asked for water definitely is a testament of how this association really is fulfilling that mission. After hours of planning and corresponding with the Home Coordinator of this facility, I began my “Good Works Value Project” for my Young Women Personal Progress.


I started working on this project mid February and my estimated completion date was 17 April 2010. My project name is “Bear Each Others Burden” (my Mama’s last phrase in her journal when she was saying goodbye to all of us – she died unexpectedly a little over a month after she wrote it). My project is to gather items to meet humanitarian needs specifically old clothes, shoes, toys, books, etc. My plans to carry out my project were: a) correspond with Elder and Sister Smith (Humanitarian Aid Couple Missionary); b) contact managing director or home coordinator; c) place donation boxes at PJ chapel and send the words out through e-mail and Facebook; and d) collect boxes and replenish new ones until April 11, 2010.

I was able to correspond with the Smiths with regards to this project and they were very supportive as well. They took the time to correspond directly with the home coordinator but unfortunately, the home coordinators did not follow-through. Sister Smith was suggesting to put together hygiene stuff for the special home but the home coordinator did not call them back. I will follow through on that. I had about 5 Sundays to collect items from members and I had an overwhelming response from them. I collected a total of 4 big boxes of clothes, toys, shoes, books, etc. The Klang Branch Presidency has been very supportive of my project by securing my boxes before they leave the chapel. I am grateful for the example of the members in KL District who donated generously for this project. After 3 months, the home coordinator was able to pick up all the goods yesterday from my house over to their place. And they were truly thankful.

I felt a great sense of accomplishment because I was able to put in more than 10 hours to complete this project. While doing this project, I became more and more aware of what I could do and give to others – the kind of feeling I got when I was serving as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In addition, I became more and more appreciative of what I have been blessed with. I am grateful for the people who work for special homes because they provide primary care for these children who, most of them, have been abandoned by their parents because they could not care for a disabled child. At the end of the day, I feel more greatly benefited from this value experience because I feel more hope, faith and love towards those who have special needs.

I am planning to bake a lot of cookies to give to this special home. Maybe I can get other KL district members to participate on it too. I thought that when I finish this project that will be the end of it. But as soon as I saw all those boxes leave my house, I want to start on another project again. I am excited! My mind is filling up with a lot of ideas already. A food-drive maybe?! I welcome any suggestion.

Date of Completion: 12 June 2010
Hours spent: more than 10 hours

"Rockin' and Rollin'" at Mid Valley Megamall

Wesak Day - May 28, 2010

Well, our "rock-'n-roll" holiday was wonderfully relaxing. Dennis and I decided that it will be our new definition of "rock-'n-roll" - a day at the mall. He woke me up of course to get ready to "rock-'n-roll" because we leave at 9:30am. He took me to Mid Valley Megamall, it was my first time there and I was not disappointed at all. They call it the most sensational shopping mall in Kuala Lumpur and by golly it is! They have everything - economical, pricey, and exorbitant! (By the way, those are the three new words I taught my class yesterday - and I shall introduce 3 words each time we meet.) We had a wonderful time watching a Walt Disney movie "Prince of Persia: Sands of Time", 'window' shopping (it doesn't hurt to buy here a little and there a little - hehe!), and food of course!


First of, the movie "Prince of Persia: Sands of Time". One great thing about Malaysia is that when you go to movies, you don't fear watching inappropriate movies. When it is, the government will not make any reservations cutting even half of the movie's original content. Anyhows, they didn't have to with this Jerry Buckheimer's movie. It is action-packed movie full of mystery. It is very appealing I think for young and old alike because its mythical (you can never go wrong with a little magic), action-filled adventure, you have a dashingly handsome prince that used to be an orphan but is a "King in spirit", a headstrong princess that despite being a damsel in distress stood by her principle and her destiny, an unlikely villain, the message that family, love, and respect are bonds that can withstand evil, the idea that time is one continuous round and that our life is intertwined. I really enjoyed the movie and the CARAMEL POPCORN - gotta love Malaysia movie theater for their delightful caramel popcorn, it was "rock'n'roll"!

We went "jalan-jalan" after movie and lo and behold, Rebook, Speedo, Puma, Adidas, etc are on sale! Yes, peeps check it out - they have a lot of price mark down like a Speedo swimsuit that cost about RM 99.00 and you can buy it for only RM 12.00!!! And then to make things even more exciting, especially for me - Body Shop is on SALE - 50-70%! Gotta love Malaysia's Mid Year Sale.



Food - oh yes! Dennis took me to "Dome" where I had grilled fillet of fish marinated with cajun spices, cumin and lemon juice and Dennis had some spaghetti with creamy garlic seafood sauce. We had chocolate milkshake and spearmint shake to wash it off. It was a bit pricey but I have to say the grilled fillet of fish was juicy and the creamy prawn with hollandaise sauce was mouth-watery. It was delicious! The pasta was delicious too but oh boy, the fish was unforgettable. I am so grateful for food! And to make the meal even better, Michael Buble and George Clooney was there. I couldn't resist it, I have to take a picture.



The best part of our Wesak Day is listening to 80's music in the car while D is driving safely - and I mean really really safe. I'm with a wonderful man who would never compromise safety; a man that only made one great risk in his life - marrying me! To dearest D.... kudos to a well spent "rock-'n-roll" date... let's go swimming tonight? ;)

Lea Salonga's Debut in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

I was nine when I started dreaming of the day when I could finally hear the voice that made the Asians and especially my countrymen, proud - Lea Salonga. The voice of two Disney princess - Mulan and Princess Jasmine; the voice that set off Miss Saigon to world fame, Eponine and Fontine of Les Mis, and many more. May 22, 2010 - Plenary Hall KLCC I went and saw... heard with my own ears and saw with my own eyes. There were no circus... just Lea and a few band members. Her voice and presence is very commanding. She doesn't need a circus to showcase her talent. Her presence says it all!

She sang most of her broadway songs. It was surreal. I think one of the highlight of the night was when she sang one of Lady Gaga's song "Poker Face". Oh boy, she made it sound very classy and sophisticated. The crowd went gaga over her rendition. Although I am not a fan of any of Lady Gaga's songs, I have to say that "Poker Face" is made into a whole new game with Lea's customized version. ;) It was nice to see her have fun. Oh and the Starbucks song... that was hilarious. And she even got a standing ovation for singing "Tiga Malam" - a popular Malay song. I have to learn that song. It was a beautiful and heartfelt rendition.

We started out with a dinner at Chilis KLCC with Anne, Janella (Anne's cute daughter), Priya and Luisa. Great view of KLCC park where I used to jog while after work at JWM. And then off we go to Lea's concert which was well-spent. Her voice is truly crystal clear.

Our night would have been perfect but when we got back to PJ where we parked Priya's car, we found out that it was broken in to. They broke her side window and stole her Smart Tag. It was terrible! It's quite common here in this country but when it happens to you or people close to you, its a different story. Very traumatic.

"Hon, I have planned our date..."

I love Malaysia for so many different reasons. One of which is the holiday. There's always a public holiday every month and I always see families getting together to celebrate. Anyways, this coming Friday, May 28, 2010, is Wesak Day - an official public holiday - where Buddhist commemorates the life of Buddha (deity).

I haven't really thought of any activities for Wesak day for our family since Mom Annie and Dad James will be busy moving their stuff out at Sepang house. So, I gave Dennis the opportunity to show his prowess in planning our holiday. This morning, I received a text message from him, "Hello Hon, I have planned our date on Friday already. Ready to rock and roll!" In my mind, I was carried away with my wild imaginings of jungle trekking, boating to see the fireflies, roadtrip, etc. "Could this be Dennis?" I thought. Is he actually taking me to a really exciting date? That's what "rock and roll" means right? Exciting?! I remember literally dragging Dennis to a mountain climbing activity and he got sick for 3 days, and then to rainforest adventure that made him think of his accounting work and how easier life would be just sitting in front of his computer, or take him snorkeling for a normal day in Hawaii and watch him drown in a 3-feet-deep water. And then I thought to myself, he finally learned how to plan an exciting date that I will definitely enjoy.

When I asked with much enthusiasm what he has in mind, he replied "we watch movie, nice dining, and window shopping". And because I love him, I texted him back with these words, "Sounds awesome!" He was really excited to tell me what he came up with. I am so proud of him. Next time, I'll plan it. It's my fault, I haven't really showed him substantial example of "ready-to-rock-n-roll-holiday-activities". After all, the best dates ever are the ones that we are together. To my dearest D., where are we eating?! ;)