Remembering Mama....

... this past couple of weeks, I have been pondering about death... and how I would embrace the idea of dying just to know how it is really beyond the veil. Since my Mom passed away... death seems like a welcome thought. About an hour ago, we heard the news about Bro Kee. He just passed away. I just saw him this Sunday and he handed me my tithing slip like always. We always sit behind him and his wife every Sunday... the sting of temporary separation is painful. And it's like relieving the loss of my Mom's passing over and over again. I guess this pain of separation doesn't end until we are reunited with those we love who have gone before us. Our task now is to live our life in a way that we can claim them as our forever family. And as my Mama would say everytime we stepped out of our house, " 'nak, CTR!" And Ma... I will so I could be yours and you will be mine forever and always.... love and miss you everyday of my life.

Dennis' 27th Birthday.

July 8, 2010 - We both had to work and on top of that there's Fifa World Cup that is more important to Dennis than his birthday. ;) I first had an "evil plan" for a birthday gift for my husband that would TOTALLY BENEFIT ME, MYSELF AND I. I have been eyeing on that Ukulele I found in Yamaha Store Bukit Tinggi Jusco. And I figured that since I wanted it really bad and its a bit pricey... I might as well kill 2 birds in one stone. Buy the ukulele, wrap it and put a red bow with a card that says "To my Dearest D... Happy Birthday. I love you!" I was seriously contemplating on it (for 2 weeks). I felt guilty but chuckling at the same time.. I thought it would be a good joke and its to my advantage in the end. I can only imagine Dennis so excited to receive the gift and be completely dumbfounded, if not, be very DISAPPOINTED to find an ukulele since he doesn't have any trace of musical inclination in him. He would probably say, "Is this for you, hun?" (I do have great hopes that in our life hereafter, we can sing duet in perfect harmony. And who knows, he might be able to play the ukulele there too ;)

Anyways, I repented. How could I be so selfish on my husband's birthday? That's so wrong! So I abandoned the plan. What happened next is a "Fastfood Birthday Celebration." July 7, 2010 (at night) - we ordered Pizza Hut and Honey Covered Chicken BBQ... since he is going to wake up at 2:30am (July 8, 2010) to watch socceer - Germany vs. Spain, he will have something to eat. And since I have class the following day, I had to sleep early. So, I sang "Happy Birthday" and ate the first 2 slices... and off to bed. July 8, 2010 At night... after work, we hang out and watched TV and dialled 1-300-13-1300 (McDonalds' Hotline). hehehe! Contrary to our goal not to have fastfood for this month, we made Dennis' birthday an excemption to the rule. So we made the most out of it and stuffed ourselves with fastfood. We watched the Season Finale of Glee - "Journey Episode" and we had fun :)

Oh, and I did buy him a gift. And its' definitely something that has nothing to do with ME, MYSELF, AND I. After being married for almost 2 years I still struggle with the concept of "IT'S NOT JUST ME NOW - IT'S US" - I have to say that it's so much better than "me being the center of the universe." Room to grow....

Happy 23rd Monthsary ;)

Yup, we are on our 23rd month mark and eternity to look forward to. Almost always, when its 2nd day of the month (when we plan something special to remember why - Dennis and myself - fell for each other), something bad happens that really puts our love for each other to the test. And my pride always make it worst. My feeling the "need-to-be-right" all the time overshadows reason. I am quite fortunate though to have Dennis who would shake me out from my selfish/prideful state to being selfless/humble. I'm not quite sure why I deserve him... I don't think I do. God knows that I need him to polish a lot of my 'rough edges'. Dennis always bear my imperfections with patience. We settled our "issue" the very same day.

Anyways, day after we settled our issue, I forgot that its' our 23rd month mark so I didn't really plan/prepare anything. Dennis, on the other hand, came home yesterday from work around 7:30pm - BEAMING! I can tell the excitement all over his face. I was puzzled. He then greeted me, "Happy Anniversary, Hon. I have something for you." Of course, being the Filipina that I am, flowers and chocolates are conventional 'offering' for this auspicious occasion - so I got excited of course. He pulled out the anniversary gift... and I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED IT EVEN IF I WAS GIVEN A MILLION CHANCES. A bulb keychain! I laughed so hard that I offended my poor husband. I have to gather myself fast and redeem myself by thanking him for his thoughtfulness and apologize for my rudeness.

I was trying very hard not to laugh when he was adding the special feature of the keychain. You can push the button and it lights up! WOW, right?! So I said, "Wow" as sincerely as I wanted it to sound. He didn't buy it. He looked at me with those cute puppy eyes and said, "You don't like it. You're laughing at my gift" (Dennis - frowning). This time, I felt bad for making him feel bad. So I made up something to make the gift more meaningful by adding, "Oh, I think I know why you bought this for us, it means - I light up your life ;)" And Dennis is happy again. Just like that... and we played with our key chain (yup, he bought two) for 5 minutes and then ate our dinner.

Ok. With that said... I thought key chains are only "pasalubong". Its' what you buy for friends when you go to places. hehehe! But today, I learned from my husband the true meaning of "it's the thought that counts". Dennis' simple-mindedness subdues my complexities. He's the perfect ingredient for me;)Guys out there... key chain might work for your other half...(warning) but not always ;)

Portugal vs North Korea - A Defeating 7-0

The game just finished couple minutes ago and I was just dying to hear the whistle from the referee to put the North Korea team out of their misery. I mean it was really good... I mean record-breaking performance in Portugal side but you can't help but symphathise on North Korea team. It was like seeing someone get punch over and over again... and I'm a helpless onlooker... I can't even call 911! Although I tried so hard to cheer on the North Korea team hoping that'll help with their score and then they could tie up with Portugal and when they do.. I can go back and cheer on Portugal. But my effort was in vain. And my heart got broken even more when the camera spotted a bunch of North Korea fans who travelled so far just to see their team play... it was depressing. But oh well, North Korea stood on their ground to the very end... and I am trully respectful of that. I once watch a bike race (National Geographic - I think) involving a father and a son and the father was falling way behind because he was just spent. He urged his son to move ahead because he doesn't want to hold him back. When the son reached the finish line, he waited anxiously for his father... for HOURS. When his father finally appeared, looking so frail and you can see in his face that every step he took was just so painful... they both wept as they were reunited. The father then said to the cameraman (and I felt that his message was for me), "The secret of success is to figure out not to quit."

Well, North Korea... did figure out not to quit... and in many ways that to me spells success. I don't think I will be a good sports writer... as I don't have a competitive spirit. I always cheer for the underdog... EXCEPT for boxing!!!! If there is exciting fight coming along, I will definitely write a blog about it... but you won't see or feel a hint of sympathy to any opponent that fights against my bet;) But for now... we'll stick with FIFA World Cup 2010 since Dennis is going crazy about it. Seriously! The world stops when a game is on! And he would watch the highlights over and over again! It’s driving me crazy!!! Like pulling my hair in ALL DIRECTIONS!!! Nonetheless, Cheers to World Cup!

Oh, and one of the greatest highlight is when Ronaldo Cristiano finally scored. He was dying to make a goal and has been doing a great service to his team. And the ever elusive goal for him came as Portugal's 6th goal with 3 minutes left on the clock. With two minutes left on the clock, and then Portugal stole the ball again from North Korea team, I was saying to Dennis, "Come on, you've got to be kidding me if they will score another..." I didn't even finish my sentence and there goes Tiago, charging like a bull with no mercy - 7th goal! His second goal! And it's like adding insult to an injury for North Korea. Ok, there! Enough said...

To Dennis.. who made my birthday a less depressing experience

Yesterday, I took some pictures of our quite dinner of my favorite food - Japanese food! I was home all day because Dennis had to go to work. I was feeling down as my birthday draws near... feeling like I haven't accomplished much. I am Thirty! Like seriously 3-0... and I was not at all happy about it. I tried to start my day as ordinary as possible... I painted our home (which took half of my day already), answered all my wall messages - birthday greetings (thanks to facebook, my friends can now remember my birthday, and I'm happy about that, I mean even George (Lim) who has been busy with Lakers and Celtics game dropped a note. That's really nice. I just opened my computer and its a day after my birthday already and I have tons more to reply. Anyways, after painting, I baked for the first time cinnamon rolls. The last I tried to make bread, it was terrible - stone hard terrible! It was 2 years ago I think, and I figured its my birthday and I always want to do something new... something like overcoming fears/challenge and what not. Well, I wanted to overcome my fear of failing to make a bread ... and the cinnamon rolls was fine. I mean it wasn't perfect but it was edible. I even had the courage to give my in-laws a tray of cinnamon rolls! I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast and lunch. As I was saying, we had our dinner close to where we live at 9pm. I took some pictures of our dinner at Sakae Sushi - a Japanese Restaurant at Jusco Bukit Tinggi. The ambiance was nice and the grilled squid stuffed with rice is so good... but that's about it.I have to say that Sushi King at Tesco Bukit Tinggi is far more superior, affordable, and delicious. Although the ambiance is not that nice ... i mean the view is the parking area but the food is really delicious. Anyways, it was still a good dinner... we stuffed ourselves with sushi!
I woke up quite late this morning, went swimming and then had brunch... and then answered more facebook greetings. I also had to finalize my students grades before Monday. Anyhows, I still haven't started memorizing their names and their faces. It's a bit challenging to memorize Chinese names and let alone say it properly! My students would always laugh at my pronunciation of their names... and they don't mean to be rude. It's just the culture. But anyhows, I'm so excited for school to start because I have been preparing student-centered lesson plan for them that I hope will work for them. So excited!
Overall, my birthday was well spent and thanks to my dearest D, he made it less depressing by just being with me and listen to my endless woes of 'aging crisis' and being 'childless'. So there... I spilled my innermost striving. By the way, no amount of comforting words can really appease my soul... so please don't leave a comment that says, "Oh Joanah, you're still young... some married couple takes about 5 to 10 years to get pregnant". I shall thank you forever if you will leave a comment about the squid we ate or about my stunning husband who never cease to amaze me.

Malaysian Probationary Driving License

Knowledge Value Project

13 June 2010

Yup, I’m official! I can now drive legally in Malaysia. The whole process was painstaking and frustrating but I managed. The whole process has brought the best and worst in me. I constantly found myself in situations where I had to bring out the “tigress” in me to not be cheated or take advantage of. My driving school realised that Filipinas are not to be messed around with! (roar!)

My Knowledge Value Project is to secure a Malaysia Driver’s License by going through “Undang-Undang” (country’s rules and regulations) and go through 10 sessions of manual driving class. I chose this skill because I want to be able to drive myself to and from Church and not have to rely on Dennis a lot. I really feel sorry for him especially on Saturdays when he has to drive me to PJ Chapel for an activity when he just came back from work. I also want to be able to drive my children to and from school in the future. I know that securing my own driver's license will give me more opportunities to serve in whatever calling the Lord will give me, including motherhood.

My plans to carry out my project were: a) seek the help of Ms. Yong, Priya, Brandon or Luisa to find out a good and cheap driving school (its ridiculous how much driving school charges are); b) study the “Driver’s Education Curriculum Handbook”; c) fulfil all the necessary government requirements; and d) pass both theory and practical exam.

My personal progress journal has more details of the entire experience. I shall write excerpts of it. First, I am grateful for friends who have filled me in with helpful information that got me started on the right track. Plus my in-laws, who are very supportive of me wanting to be more independent – in many respects. They would accompany me anywhere to make sure that I am not cheated on because I don’t speak Bahasa Malay nor Chinese. They are a tremendous help.

Fulfilling the government requirements was a little challenging. I spent about 10 hours sitting in a class room listening to the lecturer about the rules and regulations, as well as about car parts etcetera in Bahasa Malay language. They do not have it on any other language. But I have to sit on it because it is a requirement. I managed to look interested those whole 10 hours (5 hours on each day). What I did though was read the English handbook they gave me during the class and kind of figured out the rest – thanks to google!

My practical test was set on June 2, 2010 and it was traumatic! Throngs of people are waiting early in the morning for their turn and the JPJ are not at all ‘friendly’ to anyone who’s wearing a number. But anyhow, it doesn’t matter really. I had one goal in mind – to PASS, and I am not about to be defeated by the attitude of people around me neither by my pride. So I suck it all up and tough it out! The practical test took about 3 hours – there were a lot of people that day at Shah Alam. I managed to befriend a Malay girl, mother of two, who’s back for her second chance. She told me of her ordeal the week before and how she was treated quite badly. But she said she needed it to send her kids to school. We had long hours to wait so we got to know each other more. I also befriended 3 Chinese who were taking the test for the first time. All of them failed the test. I didn’t know what happened to the Malay woman that I befriended but I have a strong feeling she passed this time.

My driving school, knowing that I don’t speak the language cheated on me once and didn’t even complete the 10 sessions as promised (I only have 4 sessions from them). And they forgot to teach me the 2 routes that I needed to memorise for the practical test. It was challenging to deal with them because of the language barrier. Suffice me to say that I feel a great sense of relief when I finally have my driving license in my hand. It was worth it! My fear was overpowered by a more exalted purpose of why I am doing it. This value experience taught me humility and patience.

I am grateful for the experience. I still love Malaysia and I still love the people. This experience helped me to understand the people better and appreciate their diversity. I also love driving here. If you are someone like me who lives in Manila half their life, Malaysia’s road is paradise! Mission accomplished.

Date of Completion: 9 June 2010
Hours spent: about 25 hours

Handicapped and Disabled Children’s Association of Klang Selangor

(Note: I have been doing my YW Personal Progress Report for a while now but thought of sharing it on my blog in the hope that it will give other young women ideas on how to accomplish their own.)

13 June 2010

Good Works Value Project - Young Women Personal Progress

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." Helen Keller



Sometime in February of this year while working for my father-in-law’s office, an Indian fellow (Mr. Muru) accompanied by a young man with a Down Syndrome walked in looking for Dad James. Mr. Muru went inside Dad’s office but the young man stopped at my desk and extended his hand. After our warm handshake he asked me politely if he could have some water. I took a glass of water and hand it to him and he finished it in seconds! He was really thirsty. Then I offered him some of my cookies, he took some and graciously thanked me. I was very impressed and quite touched by this young man, whose manners are not what I categorized as mentally disabled. His manner speaks highly of the god in him.

That experience led to many inquiries and Dad James filled me up with a lot of details because he has been a donor for quite a while to a special home that takes care of this special children. The Handicapped and Disabled Children’s Association of Klang Selangor (Persatuan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak Cacat Klang Selangor) houses mentally and physically disabled children and young adults ages 3 to 26. It’s a special home where they are given training, education, and proper grooming so they can be independent and contribute to their society. And the young man that asked for water definitely is a testament of how this association really is fulfilling that mission. After hours of planning and corresponding with the Home Coordinator of this facility, I began my “Good Works Value Project” for my Young Women Personal Progress.


I started working on this project mid February and my estimated completion date was 17 April 2010. My project name is “Bear Each Others Burden” (my Mama’s last phrase in her journal when she was saying goodbye to all of us – she died unexpectedly a little over a month after she wrote it). My project is to gather items to meet humanitarian needs specifically old clothes, shoes, toys, books, etc. My plans to carry out my project were: a) correspond with Elder and Sister Smith (Humanitarian Aid Couple Missionary); b) contact managing director or home coordinator; c) place donation boxes at PJ chapel and send the words out through e-mail and Facebook; and d) collect boxes and replenish new ones until April 11, 2010.

I was able to correspond with the Smiths with regards to this project and they were very supportive as well. They took the time to correspond directly with the home coordinator but unfortunately, the home coordinators did not follow-through. Sister Smith was suggesting to put together hygiene stuff for the special home but the home coordinator did not call them back. I will follow through on that. I had about 5 Sundays to collect items from members and I had an overwhelming response from them. I collected a total of 4 big boxes of clothes, toys, shoes, books, etc. The Klang Branch Presidency has been very supportive of my project by securing my boxes before they leave the chapel. I am grateful for the example of the members in KL District who donated generously for this project. After 3 months, the home coordinator was able to pick up all the goods yesterday from my house over to their place. And they were truly thankful.

I felt a great sense of accomplishment because I was able to put in more than 10 hours to complete this project. While doing this project, I became more and more aware of what I could do and give to others – the kind of feeling I got when I was serving as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In addition, I became more and more appreciative of what I have been blessed with. I am grateful for the people who work for special homes because they provide primary care for these children who, most of them, have been abandoned by their parents because they could not care for a disabled child. At the end of the day, I feel more greatly benefited from this value experience because I feel more hope, faith and love towards those who have special needs.

I am planning to bake a lot of cookies to give to this special home. Maybe I can get other KL district members to participate on it too. I thought that when I finish this project that will be the end of it. But as soon as I saw all those boxes leave my house, I want to start on another project again. I am excited! My mind is filling up with a lot of ideas already. A food-drive maybe?! I welcome any suggestion.

Date of Completion: 12 June 2010
Hours spent: more than 10 hours